As we go through life, whether in our personal or professional arena, we will encounter disappointments. It is inevitable. It can be a crummy product we purchase and download, a business associate that doesn’t keep to agreed-upon deadlines, a business partner that steals your idea or concept or someone who is close to you that decides to be dishonest to you. Stuff will happen.

The most important thing to remember is that it is not “You” but the decision that “other” person made to act or do what they did.  They probably didn’t do it to hurt you, but rather they did it because it was what benefitted them or filled their need most at that moment.

Now that doesn’t excuse what they did or mean you have to accept or tolerate it. It is just important that you don’t fixate on the feelings you experience when that happens and respond solely in an emotional fashion. You need to step back and try and look at the situation without letting your feelings dictate your reaction.

I know that I have personally messed up business decisions, because I responded emotionally to a situation and lost focus on what would have been a more profitable solution. If you purchase a product and are unhappy with it, request a refund. If a simple request doesn’t work, make a second request and politely let them know you will be taking legal action if the problem is not resolved.

If someone steals your idea or concept, ask yourself if you done what is necessary to protect yourself from such a theft (copyright, trademark, treatment) and if so, approach the other party with the facts and request that they cease to use, sell or promote “your” material. Don’t stoop to calling names, running around bad-mouthing them or whatever, you will look like the one out of control. Stay calm and decide which plan of action to take (legal ones) and do it without fanfare.

If you maintain your posture and control, you will ultimately come out ahead. Other people can see what is going on and will ultimately recognize the truth. One of my favourite sayings is: “People of Integrity expect to be believed, and when they’re not, they let time prove them right!” Keep integrity on your side and you will be the winner.

All these tips will work in your business and personal dealings. You never win an injustice within a relationship by being overly emotional and exploding. You might win the fight but you ultimately lose the war.

You give all your power to the person that already hurt you by letting them take control of your emotional state. Step back and analyze why you are angry, list the feelings that are adding up, that make you feel that way, and then think about how to deal with those feelings individually.

I learned in a seminar once, that anger in itself is not a feeling… but the result or sum of other feelings. You can’t just feel anger, it usually comes from a compilation of feelings. For example if someone lies to you might feel the following:

                        1.hurt

                        2.disappointed

                        3.betrayed

                        4.frustrated

                        5.cheated

                        6.used_____

Sum total:           ANGER

By diffusing the feelings that cause “anger” you can see more clearly and focus on the best solution.

You are a special person and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Respect yourself by staying in control of your emotions when you’ve been wronged and will find these types of situations decrease. You run your life. Don’t let someone or something else try to.

Thanks for listening, hope these tips help somehow, somewhere, sometime.

Cheers, Smiles and Success,

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Checkout The Hottest Event of 2009 

I just got done watching this video by Seth Godin on the concept of being different.

Click here to view: Seth Godin: Sliced bread and other marketing delights

He never once really promotes his new book: “Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable”,  but his talk is so fascinating I went out and purchased it. So many of us struggle to get recognized or spread our “brand” and can’t figure out why it’s not working like we expect. Check out some of the stories from some industry top dogs and you’ll see that they don’t always hit the target the first time either.

The quote on his video says: “In a world of too many options and too little time, our obvious choice is to just ignore the ordinary stuff. Marketing guru Seth Godin spells out why, when it comes to getting our attention, bad or bizarre ideas are more successful than boring ones.”

I especially enjoyed the great amount of humor he injected into his talk.  As I have always said: “When they’re laughing, they’re learning”  So that is another point to remember when you are trying to get people’s attention, try and get them to laugh and they will listen more intently.

So enough for now, enjoy the video.

Cheers, Smiles and Success,

On his Blog, Reed Floren asked what people to share what they are thankful for.

My reply was:

“I am thankful for the many things my life has been blessed with, such as:

My beautiful and talented fiance´Cat Chaplynn

My daughter Brooke and my grandsonson Richy

My health and that I’ve been able to drop 75lbs since last year

The continued success of my comedy career

That 2009 will provide me the financial freedom I deserve so I can spend more time helping others

My family, even though they are spread over the globe.

And for all the new friends and associates I will be meeting through the wonderful world of Internet Marketing.

Thanks for asking Reed.”

As I sat and thought about the things I was grateful for, it dawned on me how many blessings I have in my life. I also realized how little time I spend being thankful for it.

One of the biggest successes in my life was sitting down to reflect on the things I should be thankful for, because I was feeling down after 7 months of unemployment. I thought maybe if I showed some gratitude, something new might come my way.

Before I realized it, my “gratitude meditation”  lasted over 2 1/2 hours. I felt like I was totally refreshed and my mind was clear again. I followed what I consider to be an inspired thought and applied for a job as an English coach (something I had never done before) and landed the job the same day.

That experience led to two more jobs and creating my comedy show and all the success that have followed that.

So, as I now wish all of you in the States and Canada a Happy Thanksgiving, I encourage all of you everywhere not to wait for a specific day to say your thanks, but learn to count your blessings daily and show your gratitude for them and it will open up a floodgate of prosperity for you.

As always, here’s to your Wealth!

Cheers, Smiles and Success,

Crazy J