Confronting Family Problems While Raising Children
From getting pregnant to effectively handling the stages of childhood and also keeping a marriage together through it all, being a parent today is really a full time job. Of all the occupations in the world, none are as challenging or as rewarding as raising a family. The experience is one of self discovery and personal development. The lessons learned are some of the most significant you'll encounter. The heartaches come, as do the blessings. If you make it through your family problems, you will earn a sense of achievement unlike anything you could imagine.
Women of all ages struggle with pregnancy. For a few, a pregnancy may be unplanned. For others, pregnancy is actually a miracle. A few women struggle with carrying the baby to term. 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. More have issues with infertility. Tubal obstructions, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and ovarian cysts are all factors that cause infertility in women. Overcoming infertility can be an expensive, time consuming challenge. It is actually becoming increasingly more rare to find a standard pregnancy where everything happened from start to finish as it was planned, if it was even planned in the first place. But in the end, no matter how they arrive, there's a reason babies are called a "bundle of joy."
Once the baby is born, particularly a first child, parents often find themselves overwhelmed and unprepared. The unknown is always scary and nothing is more so than a brand new child. Its life is in your hands and you realize that you have no idea what you're doing. The crying, the colic, diaper rash, and worrying about the terrifying Sudden Infant Death Syndrome can give a brand new parent many sleepless nights. In addition to all the worrying, newborn babies hardly ever sleep through the night. You can usually tell a new parent by the sleepless zombie look.
Eventually you develop a routine with your newborn baby and become familiar with its wants and needs. All of that is about to change. As your child is mobile, they move into the toddler stage. At the beginning this can be an exciting time. New parents get excited about the child's first steps and the real words the baby begins using. Then your toddler learns the one word that can change their life and yours - no. This is their very first taste of free will, and boy do they choose to exercise it.
This can be an intensely stressful period for parents. Temper tantrums, fits, and refusing to cooperate are how the word "terrible" got to be connected to the word "twos." The terrible twos are when boundaries are first recognized. Patiently mastering communication skills is your most valuable asset in getting through these particular family problems. As soon as they have settled into their boundaries, the toddler years become an exciting period of discovery. As a parent, you get to see the world again from the eyes of your child.
As your child develops, you'll discover that they mimic things around them. They'll behave like people from books and television. They will pretend to talk on the phone and say the same things you do. Conversation skills develop. And somewhere around age 8, they start seeking their own independence. It's not that they're trying to break away from you (that arrives later in the teen years). What they're actually attempting to do is define who they are. This is a crucial time for the parent to learn when to and when not to enforce boundaries. Naturally you need to protect your child. However, at this point they really need to be allowed to make their own mistakes so they can start to understand the best way to handle them. They also need to learn to be responsible for their actions.
By the time your child reaches the teenage years, in the event you haven't already invested in some form of parenting education it is time for you to start. Once they hit the teenage years, your child has the reasoning abilities of an adult without the life experience to back it up. That can make for a challenging time for both the child as well as the parent. It's not uncommon for a sweet and loving child to develop into an abusive child once they reach the stage when hormones rage rampantly and social pressures put them into the position to make hard decisions without the practical experience to back them up. They'll develop emotions that they don't know how to express or handle. You can help them through this period, but you could use some help yourself. With some patience and a little bit of understanding, your child can finally grow up and you can look back with that feeling of fulfillment mentioned earlier.
From the time the child is born right up until the time they can be considered an adult, you are their most important role model. "Do as I say, not as I do," isn't something you're going to find in any book on parenting. It helps make us accountable for our actions, just as we expect our children to be. Having kids can make you want to be a better person. Overcoming the challenges of raising kids and dealing with family problems builds your own self-confidence. You give so much to your kids over the years. If you're paying attention, they're giving back to you as well.
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